Kat (isawyoudancing.blogspot.com.au/p/reverb12) asks, “how are you starting this last month of 2012″?
I personally feel like I am standing on the edge of either a vortex, or a psychotic break. I have pretty much stopped sleeping, and my stress level is at Def Con 4.
But, I am very clear that my issues are first of all economic, which makes them “First World” problems. I think of one of my Facebook friends, who lost everything in Sandy’s devastation, except for her and her family’s lives. I recognize my good fortune, and I am grateful, truly.
I think back over the past year, and it seems that it flew by in Grey’s and beiges. When I go thru my journals, however, I find some shinys among the dust bunnies.
My DD25 has brought such joy to my life, especially because of her art. She is genuinely a Creative, always filled with ideas. I am however, Left-Brained. But I love art I have also become a lot more blunt with my children about their situations. I have a couple of mantras: There is nothing so terrible that it cannot be talked about, and We must first acknowledge that which we wish to change. OK, three: When people tell you who they are, believe them. Do not expect them to change, decide if you are willing to accept who they are.
projectreflect12 (see button in sidebar) asked on December 1, describe one thing you did this year to cope.
For me, I began watching Grey’s Anatomy, taking meds and looking a lot at the art of others. I took several classes this year, but most dealt with self-care, a topic about which I feel woefully ignorant. I shaved my head for October, to show support for those battling c*ncer for whom I pray daily. I was blessed to take Body Restoration this year. I am learning a lot about how I see myself.
Part of me is having a tantrum, stomping her feet and yelling, “This was supposed to be my Year of Jubilee! What the h*ll happened??” It has been a year since I became an orphan. I believe now that “release” was my year for 2011, because my father’s death did free me. I do not know if my word for this year, ME, will turn out to have been accurate.
It has taken me awhile to come back here and use words. I have felt voiceless. There are many folks doing reVerb12 – find some prompts, and do your own year end assessment. I will continue to try to feel my way forward in the darkness. Thank you for visiting, reading and commenting.